So I took a break. Again. I don’t know if I can come up with a good enough reason that’s not the same as the last one. But real talk I am mentally declining. This was going to happen at some point. And it’s not all the pandemic fault because in all honesty that really didn’t change anything. I don’t go out. I have no friends. But it opened the door for me realizing the toxic people in my life. And I always say if there’s a toxic person in your life to cut them out but in my case, I can’t. So finding ways to work around it has not been easy. But I have just been depressed. I joke about a lot but I’ve never had a bad depression episode in years. A lot of panic attacks and mental breakdowns have been real. I think the worst part of it is I don’t have someone to go to. I don’t know. So writing hasn’t been at the top of my list of stuff I needed to do. But a lot has been going on in my life so I just wanted to fill you all in on some good things and bad things I’ve been going on in my life other than the depression.
My older sister is getting married!!! This has caused me to have a mental breakdown a few times because we are only 18 months apart and the fact that she has her life together and I don’t really affect me a lot. But I’m incredibly happy for her and I’m obsessed with Cameron so I’m really happy I’ve known about the engagement months before was going to happen so I knew about it. What I didn’t know was that I’m going to be a bridesmaid which has been super fun to try on dresses and talk about the wedding and planning everything. It’s been a healthy distraction from my life.
I’m technically not single. This one has a lot to take in. so yes I kind of told myself I was not going to do anything with any of any anytime soon because the last relationship was definitely something, but this is different. I low-key kind of hate myself for saying because I feel like everyone says that about everything. I’ve kept a lot of things from you guys and it’s not because I don’t like talking about them it’s just because I don’t like writing about it which is something totally different. A little fun fact about me is I think a simple vanilla relationship. Yes, my last relationship with like that but let’s be real honest it was a lot of other red flags I ignored. Since I was 18 I loved BDSM and kink and ddlg but in 2017 I did a research paper on it for school. There is a lot to it and years of research and learning about it. it’s not something that happens overnight. But 5ish months ago I started talking g to someone and I really like him.
I hope you guys like this little update. I have a few other post plan but I hope to get out to you guys as soon as possible. Let me know in the comments down below if there’s anything you want me to write!! I will definitely be doing a post dedicated to my relationship and everything about it. So let me know if you have any questions.