I don’t know how I’m surprised by having to write this. If you didn’t know and don’t follow me on Instagram even know that I recently I’m going through a breakup. Did I see it coming? Absolutely but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. So today I kind of just want to talk about the breakup and what’s been going on.

It’s funny that this month actually marks a year that we’ve been together. Last month I was getting some work done I was about 4:00 a.m. because I couldn’t sleep and I was kind of frustrated because he was mad at me that I was quiet all day but in reality I was sleeping all day cuz I wasn’t feeling good and so then he called me out for it and then I said you were quiet all yesterday and I didn’t yank you on it and then he basically just said that this is it. I had a panic attack cried myself to sleep took a nap and woke up cause I had to take my dad to a doctor’s appointment and I begged so much for this not to happen but it needed to. I think the final straw was back in January when he blocked me for the night and I didn’t know why and I ended up finding out is because he just didn’t want to deal with me that night cause I had a panic attack. Which sounds really bad and is really bad and he still to this day won’t talk about it and say anything about it so. It’s tough. I just I needed to have them but it still sucks. we’re still talking we’re still good friends he keeps saying that he can’t lose me as a person in his life but at the end of the day also it’s like then why break up with me but I don’t know. I do love talking to him and it’s nice to talk to him still but it’s tough. I just think that is communication sucks it sucked throughout the whole relationship. He was always getting on me for not speaking for long periods of time and not giving him details when he did the same thing but it was fine for him. Or I would ask him stuff just the bottom in general and I got nothing but gets mad when I didn’t tell him a detail about my life. I just. But if you did not know that this wasn’t just any relationship. And if you know then obviously those breakup makes it a lot harder because now I don’t have the one thing that like made me feel safe and protected and that was really hard. And I don’t think I had that sense January when he blocked me for a day and I think that was just the one thing that I couldn’t go to him for anything anymore cause I feel more like a burden and I was just scared he would block me again for that time until he wanted to deal with me and so I couldn’t go down for anything not even a little things that he keep to myself and I don’t know how I survived that long But like I said we’re talking we’re still best friends and I don’t know what the future holds do I wish you the same obviously but maybe it’s best that it isn’t and I know I’ll find what I want to hopefully. If you have any questions about me when my break up or anything really just let me know in the comments below and I hope you guys have an amazing day. 

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