Where I’ve been

PanicAttack2Well hello everybody. I know it’s been two months since I’ve posted on the blog. But I had a good reason. Lately the past few months my anxiety has been really bad. I’ve been constantly just sick and have no motivation to get out of bed. I didn’t want to do anything. It was hard for me to do the things that I had to do. The constant headaches sucked. The stomach pain from my anxiety disorder was really really bad. Everybody was asking so much me and I can only do so much I just felt so low. It’s been a while since I’ve had this feeling everything just closing in on me. It’s been tough. And I’m trying to just focus on the things that I have to get done and doing the bare mineral. But I’m back. I am officially back and I have the whole month planned out and ready for you guys. There’s a lot of fun stuff is going to be happening on this month and I’m excited to plan on next month then get everything to you guys.

I’m so happy to be back but I want your guys’ opinion. What is some post you want to see on my blog? That’s always guys I love you guys so much, thank you for everything you do, and I’ll see you in the next post.

Lets talk: anxiety disorder

anxietyHi guys. Today I kind of just wanted to talk about my anxiety. I think I’ve stated it multiple times in multiple posts, my anxiety has been bad the past few months. I don’t know the reason why. I noticed some things that trigger it but sometimes nothing at all could trigger it. I think a big factor is sleep. If I don’t get enough sleep I noticed I get very emotional over nothing. Like the other day my sister had her surgery, simple surgery nothing scary but later around 9:00 pm ish I just started crying. A full panic attack for no reason. I don’t know what’s wrong. I can have a great day and then my anxiety kicks in and I’m crying and don’t want to do anything.

BTR-SocialAnxiety-InfographicNow let’s talk about my social anxiety. I went grocery shopping the other day super normal thing for me to do. It  wasn’t even that busy and I had to stop what I was doing and run out to my car because I was having a panic attack. I freak out over nothing and I hate going out. I want to be able to make plans and hang out with people but I cant. That’s a big reason why I’m single. I don’t think I could find a guy who understands and can handle my anxiety.


I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post. Let me know in the comments down below do you have any sort of anxiety? Or do you have any questions about inside? As always guys think of everything you do, I love you guys so much, and I’ll see you in the next post.

I’m basically a housewife.

I am 21 years old I’ll be 22 in October. Normal people at the age of 21 are still in college and kind of figuring out life. They get to go out all the time and have a job but it may be not their dream job but they are working. Me I am a complete opposite.download (12)
I live at home. I take care of my father and my sister. My dad has cancer and is retired. And my little sister is 17. And she is in school full time. I do all the cleaning and cooking making sure my sister is doing her school work because she is homeschoolded. I do all the grocery shopping I make sure bills are paid on time I make sure people are on time for their doctor’s appointments or anything like that. In other words I am basically a housewife. I do everything for everyone and don’t do anything for me.
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Every weekend my grandmother gives me a big speech about how I have to get a job and this and that. What she doesn’t know is I don’t have time for one. I’m busy doing everything else for my family but I don’t have time for myself. On top of that with my anxiety and social anxiety, there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen. I’m a full-time student myself so I’m already running myself thin. With everything else I do for my family, how does no one see it? My grandmother knows how much I do for my family and having to have always done for them but she still gives me the same speech.
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I’m working on getting a job but I can’t just go out and get a job. No one knows about my blog and how it’s my full-time job And then that’s a big task that I’m working towards. On top of that, I do love writing and want to get into freelance writing. I just needed to rant for a minute so thank you for letting me.

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I live at home. I take care of my father and my sister. My dad has cancer and is retired. And my little sister is 17. And she is in school full time. I do all the cleaning and cooking making sure my sister is doing her school work because she is homeschoolded. I do all the grocery shopping I make sure bills are paid on time I make sure people are on time for their doctor’s appointments or anything like that. In other words I am basically a housewife. I do everything for everyone and don’t do anything for me.
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Every weekend my grandmother gives me a big speech about how I have to get a job and this and that. What she doesn’t know is I don’t have time for one. I’m busy doing everything else for my family but I don’t have time for myself. On top of that with my anxiety and social anxiety, there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen. I’m a full-time student myself so I’m already running myself thin. With everything else I do for my family, how does no one see it? My grandmother knows how much I do for my family and having to have always done for them but she still gives me the same speech.
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I’m working on getting a job but I can’t just go out and get a job. No one knows about my blog and how it’s my full-time job And then that’s a big task that I’m working towards. On top of that, I do love writing and want to get into freelance writing. I just needed to rant for a minute so thank you for letting me.


I hope you guys enjoyed this post. Let me know in the comments down below how’s your month going so far? Has always guys thank you for everything you do, I love you guys so much, and I’ll see you in the next post!

I always felt like I couldn’t do anything.

Growing up I was always compared to my older sister. No matter what I did it was judged by what she did. Now that I’m older It has only gotten worse. My Abuela passed away last Friday. And so we have been talking to a lot of family members that we haven’t talked to you in awhile. And as my dad’s talking to them he’s talking about how we’re doing and I couldn’t help but realize he has a lot to say about Sarah my older sister when I came time to me I was just the girl at home who does nothing. It’s like he had to reword things to make it seem like I’m doing something. Like he would say you know she’s home doing school. He had to say it like she’s at home doing school because she’s busy with other stuff. But he couldn’t say what other stuff it wasn’t because he didn’t know. If that makes sense.

My sister recently just got a new car everyone was proud of her because this is like opening up the first line of credit and she is doing stuff on her own. We are only 18 months apart so when she does something everyone looks to me like what am I doing with my life. And that just makes me feel shitty! No one realizes what I do. And then when people talk about school, my sister graduated top of her class from high school there was a big party and everything I never got the party or the diploma I was forced to drop out and get my GED to take care of my mom. And then when she died I had to take care of my family. Because my older sister decided to not help she decide to get out why she could. But no one talks about that part. All they see the girl that dropped out of high school and that’s it. And that hurts. They don’t know everything that I do, I’m the one who’s always cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, taking care of my dad, taking care of my sister all while trying to take care of myself. They don’t realize how bad my anxiety has gotten they don’t realize how bad my social anxiety has gotten they don’t know. But it sucks when you hear someone talk about everything my older sister’s doing and then when it comes time to me they can’t think of anything. I hate getting compared to her because I’m nothing like my older sister. Yes, we have our similarities because we are sisters but we’re Beyond different in so many ways. I’m not a stuck-up bitch I have feelings I unlike her. I was there for my family when they needed help you weren’t. No one ever sees that and it just upsets me.

I hope you guys like this post I’m sorry it’s kind of Ranty I just have had a lot on my mind recently and just need to get it out and vent. Let me know the comments down below do you get compared to a sibling or someone in your family? As always thank you for everything you do guys I love you so much and I’ll see you in the next post!

Xoxo Allie💋