I know I just came back from a break. But I thought I was ready to come back to work. But my anxiety is still so bad. I never want to put out a post just to put one out I wanted to be a something I’m proud of. Something that I would love to read. So I never want to rush into a post. And lately it’s been so hard to sit down and just work. I start to work and I feel great and then my anxiety kicks im. I’m taking the rest of August off to regroup and rethink everything. This month is really tough in general because on the 10th will Mark a year since my grandmother and is so very tough on all of us. So I just need to breathe plan out all next month and get my anxiety in order. But I promise I will be back. I just need more time. I love you guys and thank you for everything I really mean it. I will still be active on Instagram and Twitter so it’s not like I’m going away completely.
There are days when I will dress up do my hair do my makeup and some heels and a fancy dress but then there are other days when I wear no makeup my hair’s doing whatever it wants to do because I ain’t got time to control it. I’m wearing an oversized t-shirt and some black leggings. I am obsessed with videogames and I am a huge geek I can recite lines from Star Wars and I spend most of my time playing video games. But I also love romantic movies and I love makeup. My favorite color is black and orange because I am in October baby but I also love pastel colors. I love The Addams Family but I will also never turn down a good Disney princess movie. Well besides Frozen. Not a fan of that shit lol. I live in the Florida more specifically Redneck Side of Florida. I’m not scared of mud I know more about cars and trucks than I ever thought I would I will jam
out to an old country song and new country music anytime. I will listen to some heavy metal and some Fall Out Boy but then the next song might be a Taylor Swift song. I cuss a lot and I get that from my father. I will eat a whole bunch of food that I know I shouldn’t. There isn’t a one-sided way to describe me and I know there isn’t one for you either. I am who I am and There is a lot of ways to describe me. If I wear a tight dress, show off a little skin, do all the makeup, I don’t do it for a guy I’m doing it for myself because I chose to do that. I want to go out with no makeup and I’m in a giant sweatshirt and leggings that’s my choice and you cannot tell me I can or cannot do that. It took me a while to get to a place in my life where I can make a decision on what I want to wear and not have someone tell me what can or cannot. And I want you guys to understand it’s your choice too. You don’t have to be stereotyped as a girl. You can be whatever you want to be in life. And I know this goes for guys too.
As every goals post goes, I just want to keep doing what I’ve been doing. I want to continue working out, drinking water, and eating right. Which I’ve been good at. Keep setting time aside every day to get some work done. Not letting stuff get caught up to where I’m now stressing trying to get something done last minute. I need to get a normal sleeping schedule again and if I feel anxious I need to just take a break and stop what I’m doing. Focus on myself and not everybody else for once. Still trying to organize everything. I’ve taken it room by room when I have just gone through everything if it’s something that I haven’t thought about using I get rid of it. I’m also in the process of cleaning out the family storage unit. And that’s been a handful of a mess but I would like to get it done this month. Other than all that everything stays the same with my goals.
For me, my anxiety was a big factor in this month. It was rough but manageable. I got a lot done as for work but I ended up taking like a week and a half/ two weeks off from posting even though I had posts done I just wasn’t in the right place to post anything yet. I want to put something out but I’m proud of and not just put it out to put it out. I have been working out really good. It helps with my anxiety cause it puts my thinking into something else. But I still have some tough night. Everything has been going really good with my love life. I’m just so beyond happy and I just I’m over the moon. For my family I mean things are okay. We ended up for starting to do family dinner again because my grandmother is back in town I don’t know if it’s just because it’s been like a month since he had family dinner or what but my grandmother was really on me and I just didn’t want to deal with it. So I kind of just did what I always do agree with her and walk away. Other than that everything has been going good. Like I said I’m happy but I am dealing with my anxiety a lot.